mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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