I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
only if we run a train.
done.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize