My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
