This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
