I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
