ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
