Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I am never drinking with the goths again.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
