Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize
