So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
