i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
