I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
