do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
