The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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