She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Your penis caused this!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
