dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
