so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
