Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
