Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize