He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
