No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize