Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
