Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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