i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
