How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
