I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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