Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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