Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
