So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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