Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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