I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
