...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Rumble strips road head = magical
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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