i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
