We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
