no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize