no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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