oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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