hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
