i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize