I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
