maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The uberlube is also flammable
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize