Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
