take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize