the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
