Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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