Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
