this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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