I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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