If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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