come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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