epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I still have a little drunk in my system
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
