For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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