Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
