Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
