Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
