He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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