You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
