I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
