Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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