And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize