I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize