i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
