you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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