i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
