do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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