we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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