im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
well most of my day revolves around power hour
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
