Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
did i walk over a car last night?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
