What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
