I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
